


Nerdy Pick Up Lines

by Angelwithwingsoffire



Series: Sterek One Shots [10]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Stiles centric, and then some slight smut, fandom pick up lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 11:19:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1224337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelwithwingsoffire/pseuds/Angelwithwingsoffire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles hates Valentine's Day. But that might change when he starts finding nerdy pick up lines in his locker. But who's sending him? Who is this mysterious Mr. Spock?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nerdy Pick Up Lines

**Author's Note:**

> This work was inspired by a comment on a different one shot of mine 'Guarding Mate' by [Alryetagory](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Alryetagory/profile) who suggested that Derek is the Spock to Stiles's Kirk and I ran with it as I have a sweet tooth for fandom pick up lines. This was going to be all fluff and stuff and then it turned a bit soooooooo..........yea. Enjoy.

Monday:

Stiles hated Valentine’s Day. He always has. And he always will. He doesn’t hate it because he has no one to spend it with, that feeling stopped a long time ago when he was still in middle school. No he hates it because it’s one freaking day that takes starts a month before. It’s the beginning of February and he’s already sick of all the pink and red everywhere and listening to Scott go on and on about what he’s going to get Allison for the day. He walked into school, blocking put Scott’s morning freak out rant, and heading to their lockers. When he opens his a little piece of paper falls out. He scrunches his face in confusion and bends to pick it up. He unfolds it and his jaw drops as he reads the words on it, written in scrawled handwriting, as if the person who wrote it was rushed.

‘ _I am afraid you are in violation of several interplanetary regulations owing to your abduction of what humans refer to metaphorically as my ‘heart’_.’ It was signed ‘The Spock to your Kirk’

“What’s that?” Scott asked, breaking off mid word in response to Stiles’s shocked face. He looked over Stiles’s shoulder and his jaw dropped.

“Dude you’ve got an admirer.” Scott said, astonished.

“What’s up?” Allison asked, popping up next to them. She saw them both staring at the paper and looked over Stiles’s shoulder to read it. She had the same reaction as Scott, stepping away with shock on her face.

“Stiles who is it?” She asked.

Stiles shrugged wordlessly, not knowing what to say.

“Well whoever it is did the impossible.” Scott said. “They made Stiles Stilinski stop talking.”

 

By the end of the day the whole pack knew and it was the main topic of discussion as they waited in the pack house living room for Derek to show up for the meeting.

“Well who could it be?” Stiles demanded.

“Who could who be?” Derek asked, slipping into the room.

“Stiles got a pick up line in his locker this morning.” Scott said.

“And did the impossible of shutting him up.” Allison added.

Derek raised an eyebrow in Stiles’s direction.

“What? It was a bit shocking!”

Derek just rolled his eyes and started the meeting.

 

Tuesday:

The same thing happened the next day, a piece of paper floating out of Stiles’s locker when he opened it. He unfolded it and stared at the words.

‘ _You must be the Kirk to my Spock because I can’t even logically fathom how much  love you. It is illogical._ ’ It was signed the same as yesterday and once again Stiles was speechless.

Once again Scott and Allison read it over his shoulder and were surprised.

By the end of the day the pack knew and now a betting pool was starting on who it could be. And what gender they were as Stiles came out to the pack as bi around Christmas time, to their not surprise.

 

Wednesday:

Scott and Allison waited in anticipation while Stiles was just nervous as he opened his locker. And once again a piece of paper floated out of it. Today the line was ‘ _You must be a phaser because you are locked on stunning_.’ And once again it was signed ‘The Spock to your Kirk’.

That night the pack started calling his secret admirer Spock and it stuck.

 

Thursday:

The line was ‘ _Your eyes shine brighter than all the lens flares in STID_.’ and signed as usual. Stiles laughed at it as he had complained so much about that. Lydia and Erica had joined the waiting by Stiles’s locker in the morning. The stakes in the pool were rising.

 

Friday:

The line of the day was ‘ _Can I tribble you for some sweet kisses?_ ’ and Stiles almost melted from the adorablness of it. But instead he had the same reaction he was forced to deal with every single day. Uncomfortable erection on his way to class.

 

Weekend:

Stiles was antsy all weekend, for once looking forward to Monday and hoping to see another pick up line in his locker. He had the first five tapped to his headboard and had jacked off to the sound of his fantasy voice in his head whispering them in his ear like filthy little secrets. And if that voice sounded a bit like a certain alpha werewolf…well no one needs to know.

 

Monday:

The whole pack was waiting at his locker when he got there. He was a little self-conscious but opened his locker and watched two slips of paper slip. He picked them both up and unfolded the first one. ‘ _Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?_ ’ This time it was just signed ‘Spock’. He choked on his own tongue as his dick started getting hard in his pants and he scrambled to grab his things before racing off, leaving the confused pack behind him.

He explained it to Scott during first period and by lunch the whole pack knew. But he still hadn’t opened the other piece of paper so during his free period, one he didn’t share with any other member of the pack, he found a quiet corner and unfolded it.

‘ _I was starting to run out of Star Trek ones, and wanted to save the rest for when I finally saw you, but I figured you love these ones just the same and hoped that it would have the same effect on you. So tell me, did you get a sonic screwdriver? And do you want to see me? I want to see you. Leave a note on the inside of your locker after school and I’ll get it. Have a fantastic day my Kirk. Love Your Spock.’_

Stiles groaned, feeling his dick grow again. “Fuck.” He muttered. He grabbed a piece of paper from his bag and a pen, scrawling out a response.

‘ _Holy Shit Spock you’re killing me with these. And hell yea I wanna see you! –Kirk’_ he wrote back. He folded it up in his pocket to leave in his locker later and got up to walk off his erection.

 

Tuesday:

There was another two notes in his locker the next day. The line, the one he showed the pack, just said ‘ _I would simply walk into Mordor for you_. – Spock’. He hid the other and read it in his first class, making sure none of the pack could see it.

‘ _Glad you like them:) So I was thinking that it’s V-Day on Friday, wanna meet? – Spock’_

He couldn’t stop grinning the rest of the day and wrote back that afternoon.

_‘HELL YES!’_

 

Wednesday:

He went through the same routine the next day, showing the pack the line, ‘ _This must be Reichenbach because I am falling for you –Spock’_ _,_ and then read his note in class.

 _‘_ _Where do you want to meet? –Spock_ ’

He sighed at that and wrote back.

‘ _God grow some balls Spock. Wait do you already have balls? Either way is fine I’m just wondering what I’m looking at and what gender to read these in. –Kirk._ _’_

 

Thursday:

The same thing happened the next day as well. The line of the day was _‘I want to Slytherin to your Chamber of Secrets – Spock_ ’. Scott choked on his tongue at that, which made Allison laugh and reveal that he’s much dirtier than that in bed. Stiles plugged his ears and walked away at that. He never needed to know that about his best friend.

The note that day said ‘ _Sorry. What about the diner on Second Street? They have good burgers. And I thought that was obvious with calling myself Spock and all. Yea I’ve got a dick. And can’t wait for you to see it;)_ ’

Stiles had to take all day before he could write a response with the erection he got. And he was also pleasantly surprised as that diner is one of his favorite places to eat.

_‘_ _That sounds awesome. Pick me at seven tomorrow night, alright? I assume you know where I live. If not just ask around for the Sheriff’s house. You’ll find me._ _’_

Friday:

Stiles was vibrating with nervousness as he walked to his locker the next morning. He half expected to find a rejection note, laughing at him for being so naïve and stupid, but he couldn’t help his excitement as he opened his locker and the two slips fell out. ‘ _Are you a virgin? Because I’d like to boldly go where no man has gone before?_ ’ Stiles, and everyone else, choked a bit at the forwardness and Stiles turned bright red, everyone knowing that he is one. He just grabbed his stuff and hurried to class.

The note that day was short but to the point. ‘ _I’ll see you then. And hopefully Little Kirk after dinner;)_ ’

God Stiles was going to explode from frustration before tonight. He didn’t bother writing a note back, knowing he’d see his mystery Spock by that night and hopefully he’ll get to see all of him.

For the rest of the day Stiles couldn’t concentrate on anything. He didn’t hear his teachers hardly at all, just his fantasy voice in his head repeating the notes and pick up lines in his head like a broken record. The pack noticed he was distracted at lunch, but didn’t push, although it was obvious Lydia wanted to.

When Stiles finally got home he tried doing everything to keep himself busy, ticking off his dad who was trying to sleep before his night shift, before finally going up to his room at five and started to pick out an outfit. By six his room was covered in clothes and he was getting frantic. His phone buzzed and he thought about ignoring it but grabbed it anyways. It was a text from Lydia.

‘Wear the jeans I told you I liked and the green shirt I made you buy.’ The text ordered.

He laughed in relief in texted back. ‘You are a goddess’.

‘I know. Thank me later and get ready.’ She responded.

He listened and dug through his clothes to find what she ordered him to wear before going to shower. He got dressed, slipping his Star Trek boxers on because he’s funny that way, before going downstairs. It was quarter to seven so he sat the couch. His dad was already gone so he didn’t have to explain his clothes or his fidgeting as he watched the clock tick. Just as it chimed seven there was a knock at the door. Stiles ran to the door and wrenched it open like it had personally offended him to be faced with a surprise.

“Derek?!” He asked. “What is it? No look whoever’s dying can wait I’ve got a date tonight and I need to be fucked.”

“Stiles.” Derek choked. He looked really uncomfortable but Stiles didn’t care.

“No Derek it has to wait! Unless it’s Scott or Lydia or Erica. Then I’ll consider it.”

“Stiles I’m here to pick you up.” Derek said, his voice tight.

“I don’t care Derek I have a date.”

Derek moved quickly, pushing him back against the wall and crowding into his space. He leaned in and whispered into his ear. “You never responded.” He whispered.

“What?” Stiles squeaked.

“If I get to boldly go where no man has gone before.” Derek muttered.

Stiles’s eyes grew wide with shock as it all fell into place. “You-you’re-You’re Spock!” He exclaimed.

Derek gave a long suffering sigh and stepped back. “Of course I’m Spock you fucking idiot!”

“Not fucking yet.” Stiles muttered.

Derek looked at him sharply.

“Shit.” Stiles muttered. “Let’s go. I’m not sure how long I can go before ripping those clothes off of you.”

Derek seemed down with that and they both ran for the car.

 

An hour later when Stiles demanded they go back to his house so Derek can make good on his promises, they stumbled into his room and Derek pressed him to the bed.

“Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” He muttered.

Stiles groaned. “God I fucking hate you. How the hell did you even figure out how much those things turn me on?!”

Derek shrugged. “I didn’t know. I just thought you’d like them. But when I snuck in last Wednesday and saw them tapped to the headboard I made a guess.”

Stiles groaned and flopped his head back. “I hate you sometimes.”

“Your dick says different.” Derek said, glancing down.

Stiles looked down as well and then at Derek. “You’re fucking me.”

Derek nodded. “As you wish.”

Stiles groaned, knowing he was in for hell.

Derek grinned and slowly peeled of Stiles’s clothes. He sat back when he was done and then gave Stiles a shit eating grin. “Good thing I’m not a red shirt. Because you are drop dead gorgeous.”

Stiles smacked him and then dragged him in for another kiss.

The next time either of them had anything to say other than moans was as Derek knelt between Stiles’s legs, looking down at him stretched out under him. Stiles stared back, mouth open in little gasps.

Derek couldn’t resist the temptation and leaned down to whisper against Stiles’s lips. “Lower your shields and prepare to be boarded.”

Stiles groaned and just pressed their lips together to shut him up.

 

When they were done and lying together, Stiles curled up against Derek’s side, head on his chest, Stiles looked up at Derek.

“Is that going to be a thing?” He asked.

“What?”

“The references in bed.”

Derek shrugged. “If you want them to be.”

Stiles thought for a moment. “Maybe only on special occasions.”

Derek smiled. “As you wish my love.”

Stiles groaned and smacked his chest. “Stop it.”

Derek laughed and pulled him closer. “Aright. But I do want to say one more thing.”

“What?”

“I’d wear a red shirt for you.” He whispered.

Stiles knew what he was trying to say and smiled. He pulled away and leaned over him to kiss him again. “I love you to my little emotionally stunted Spock.”

And as he kissed Derek, slow and sweet, he thought that maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t hate Valentine’s Day so much anymore.


End file.
